Scientific Masturbation!!!

Post date: Aug 15, 2015 3:01:24 PM

Written By: Mohamed Eldessouki

Date: 25/2/2015

Some researchers are spending their time not only on mediocre work, but also on a “non-scientific science”! It struck me: what the hell is that “non-scientific science”? Then, I found it easier to describe the "non-scientific science" as the “scientific masturbation”!

I am not trying here to advocate or oppose masturbation (in its sexual sense), but its similarity with the “scientific masturbation” is hilarious! Those who masturbate (sexually) are seeking the “pleasure” of sex without having a “real” sex! They “imitate” as if they have a great “epic of intercourse” while they are only faking it and playing their bodies (Ehmmm... enough description on this side).

In fact, "scientific masturbation" is the same! Some people (who might be holding big “scientific titles”) imitate that they are “doing science”, while they are not! It is funny how this group really feel the “pleasure” of doing science and talk a lot about their “scientific battles” and how they won them! In fact, they are faking it until they reach to the conclusion that what they are doing is the “real science” and what others do is nothing! Although this syndrome might be more common than what we think (to be honest, we might be victims of it at certain “unconscious” points), I am talking here about a specific group among those who exaggerate their work and disrespect others!

Anyway, every time I meet one of those people going to his/her laboratory and firmly shaking my hands, with their proud face (showing how busy they are) and asking me to wait for them in a very confident voice: “wait for me, I’m going to my lab doing a quick experiment and coming back after twenty minutes”. For some reason (that I think you are able to understand now), I hear it as: “wait for me, I’m going to my lab doing a quick masturbation and coming back after twenty minutes”. Out of disgust, I find myself heading to the closest bathroom to wash my hands :)!